stop asking am i okey when i know me myself are demnn want to cry..

I hate post holiday depression
I hate when no one to fetch me at airport..
I hate to show that I am okey when I’m not..
Hate it to the extend I can cry in public..
So.. Don’t ask if I am okey..
Coz I am not and I am just pretending..

Hallluuuu malaysia..
Hallluuu kllumpurr..
Hallluuu post holiday depression..
Halluuu loads of work waiting..

Just hallluuuu old self..
Tomorrow is better day…

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i should know where i should stand..

As always… If not I’m the one who hurt most..

Be it at every scene..

Oucchhhh.. Its hurt!! Rejection is painful..

I should know that everyone has their own charismatic, good quality etc and thus I have to push harder. I should.. So its your right to accept.. or even to offer her that job instead of me who asking and waiting patiently.. I should know.. I should know.. I should not blame you.. I should not called u names.. I just should know..

And I should appreciate those who appreciate me..
I should not downgraded myself..
I am who I am..
Yes..
I’m fat! Mysterious! Lazy!
I’m uncontrollable!!
I’m not beautiful!
I’m not 3 pointer achiever!!
I’m not the best in my class….
I’m just simply who I am…

I simply just want to enjoy my life..
As I don’t know how long can I stand..
How long can I breath..
How long can I see..

Life is complicated as always..
Just don’t make it more complicated..

Dear hati,
Bersabarlaahh.. Ada hikmah disebalik setiap kejadian..

Ya Allah,
Jangan palingkan aku dari nikmat dan rahmatMu..
Sesungguhnya Kau yang maha mengetahui segala…
Amin..

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its jco entry…

So I was alone at Jco.. Layan coffee after cracking my head thinkg which vacuum cleaner to buy. Still thinking btw.. And this one family out of blue make me miss bunda dayang more than anything else. If I am not at the right mind, I would drive home without thinking of any bad consequences that I may face! I hate this kind of behaviour. I loath it but I can help!

Yes.. I’m ponteng again! After series of self swearg, I still ponteng! Another things that I can’t help as office is demn boring eventho I have piles of work to do. I have to create exam paper as I know it will crack n tense me later. So I have to prepare early in order to avoid that. I hate school break coz its not me on break! Huh!!!

Back to that family, its three generation relationship! There is a grandma, mother and son and daughter! Its good to see them bonding! Its good to have that kind of bonding time. Then I remember, bunda dayang request for toast for a long time but as trg not have any kopitian before, I tend to forget! Its good if I can bring her lepak2 at kopitiam! Later.. Please later!!

And I feel like ambik gambar. Goshhh!! I wanna go home.. Should I???

Updates: I got the vacum!! Finally. And microwave oven. And electrical oven!! And esok kalau aku kawen tinggal blender jer dlm gift list! Huh!! ^___<

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its sunday..

.. and for the first time, I really did nothing!!
Yeayyyy…

Slept at 3, woke up at 6 then slept again alih2 12..
Best best best..
With no rush to mandi..
Morning shower is at 5pm..
Not good but I don’t care..
Not wearg bra all day long..
Free and easy bebehhhh..
Budusss..

Now its 10pm..
My target now is only to kemas pinggan mangkuk..
Back to cabinet..
Itu sahaja dan itu juga ada flexible..
Flexible sbb tatau siap ke tak..
Tak siap still no guilty..

Hahaa..
I really have no topic today..
Oh oh.. My nose are blockg..
Not good.. Will be not good..

Esok I hv to spital again..
Again dean???
U must be kidding me??
Who the hell that make fuss n not going?
Crap u…

Later then
xoxo

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this is a circle of anger..

So rubiyah catch her first accident!!!
Demn all the banglas lelaki dan pompuan who bersidai tepi jalan nk masuk gate umah..
As for them I get distraction..
I miss my calculation..
I miss my common sense…
Thus I hit tiang gate…
Urghhhhhh!!!
And skirt rubiyah rabak jadinya…
For time being kita selontape jer dulu yek??

I can’t stress out..
It will drag to another misfortune incidence..
As for time being, I am mad at my landlord janji palsu…
Aku dah penat sabar dengan delay dia..
Lepas sehari ke sehari janji palsunya nak pasang ac..
Tak pasang2..
Aku nak kemas kemas dowww sengal..
Ko ingat aku xder kehje buat???
Ko ingat aku suka tengok barang sepah2 camtuh..
Jangan bagi janji palsu boleh tak??
Jangan berangan belagak letak kat iklan bagai bagai boleh x??
Ini iklan ko bagai nak rak..
Kunun ac 2 unit, water heater bagai..
Nan ado cikkiah!! Nan ado!!
Lagak lebih!!

So I’m stress out..
I’m tailored a script of how to bomb her..
And I distracted..
And I dml..
And spend 48 on dvds..
Gebedil mahal rege dvd.. 8 hengget skeping fo sake???
Zaman bila niehhhh???
And Allah pay me cash..
T_____T

So much for new year resolutions..
Let’s get healthier…
Urghhhhh!!

Now I have to cancel today night work..
And most probably on weekends too..
Should I cancel sunday??
Later I will doom with boredom if I’m not workg..

What a life??
No work then no life..
U’ve got nothing to do if u no work..
Let’s hit the social button laaa weiii..
You are pathetic big creatures laaaaa..
Go.. Go to work..
If that’s ur definition of social button!!
Urghhhh..

Stop writing..
In the toilet now..
Doing the village in Croatia..
And my legs getting numb….

So much of healthier lifestyle..
Try harder next time okeihhhh???

Later then..
Should I xoxo??

xoxo then…

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